Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Advice for Newly Out Gays

Nate Lippens writes this great advice column for "recent arrivals" to the gay scene in Seattle. Frankly this has good tips for all gay men, especially those who've just come out. With some modifications no doubt it could be useful to straight men as well. My favorite parts include:

1. You are not a strong black woman. You never will be.

2. I know it was terrible being the fag in your school/small town/own mind, but don't introduce yourself to people with this information. Being gay is, and should be, the least interesting thing about you.

4. Rainbow flags, bumper stickers, and wind socks are no different than Green Bay Packers fans painting their faces green and gold: a complete embarrassment. Pride can be as ugly and warping as shame.

9. Avoid she-bonics: referring to each other as Girl, She, and Her. "What's her problem?" That you are an idiot.

11. I've never been to a bathhouse. No, really. So I can't advise you on it but I do know they are basically a petri dish of STDs. If you are okay with HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, and other STDs, by all means fuck your brains out.

16. Beauty fades. Develop some inner resources, otherwise when it goes, those of us with less far to fall will laugh at you. To your aging face.

17. Men, like lotto tickets, should not be had every day. The odds are the same.

Hat tip: Kevin & Patrick Blog


Douglas said...

Interesting list, and I've seen the various homo's (especialy the ones that I'm not phobic of until there is a foilman eye candy post) I know do exactly that.

The ones I'm actually friends with are actually open about their homorificiation, and don't give a flying EFF what others thing in general, they are just guys, who just happen to like banging (actually personaly, as in people I actually know in person, are more bottoms than tops) and even the doughnut punching bottoms have the attitude of "man up bitch!"

I don't get it, I'm just an outsider, who is always uncomfortable with witnessing gay on gay activities.

It's wierd, you guys could confuse physicists.

JohnAGJ said...

That's just it though Douglas: as with straight men, gay men are not all alike nor do many of them fit this stereotype. Frankly, I'd wager more than half don't. Why some gay men are like this I have no clue. Being sexually attracted to the same gender shouldn't make one check their brain at the door. Btw, I'm not speaking of men who are more naturally effeminate or women who are more naturally masculine, I can deal with that. It is those who feel the need to put on a "gay act" or engage in behavior that most sensible people find to be reprehensible. Sadly, they get most of the press too giving straights a very misguided view of how gays really are.